Episode 23: Toni St. Clair-Fish, FMCHC on Why Health Coaching is Transformative

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SPEAKERS: Dr. Andrew Wong, Toni St. Clair-Fish

Welcome to the Capital Integrative Health podcast, a podcast dedicated to transforming the consciousness around what it means to be healthy and understanding the root causes of both disease and wellness. I am Dr. Andrew Wong, co-founder of Capital Integrative Health, an integrative practice committed to expanding access to holistic root cause medicine to the global community.

Today we’re going to dive into what those obstacles might be and how you can become the best version of yourself, with health coach Toni. I am Dr. Wong Co-founder of Capital Integrative health. This is a Podcast dedicated to transforming the consciousness around what it means to be healthy and exploring the root causes of both disease and wellness. Today’s guest Toni, is a dynamic purpose-driven health and happiness coach who is passionate about supporting people and being the best version of themselves. She guides people who have forgotten or perhaps have never learned how to stay healthy and balanced and I can tell you from personally working with her. She is an amazing health coach and truly inspiring. So if you want to know how to overcome obstacles and become the person you always wanted to be, this conversation is for you.

Dr.Wong

Welcome tony to our Podcast. Thank you so much for being on today. We’re so excited to have you talk today about health coaching and health transformation

Toni

Well thank you so much it is one of my favorite subjects. Talked about is health

coaching and health transformation. So thank you for the opportunity.

Dr. Wong

Let’s just talk about some background questions. Here let’s talk about, what health

coaching is ? Because really when you’re a listener out there you know we’re all kind of it’s early part of 2022 we’re getting ready you know after the break and we wanted to transform ourselves right kind of overcome. These stuck obstacles that we all have in our lives for health. So how We transform our health in a really vibrant way in a very sustainable way ?

Toni

Well there were three questions there. I’m going to answer the one at a time.

First question,Ithink was, what is health coaching?

Health coaching really guiding the client to transformation. When it feels hard or

it’s elusive, it’s really a partnership, so many people think health coaching is like consulting. It is not really me leading and guiding you based on my knowledge and experience and supporting transformation. The client taking on the responsibility of including it in their lives in a way that can be integrated in a sustainable way. That is health coaching in a nutshell .

I help people get stuck in three ways when it comes to

health coaching. One is not really establishing goals that are meaningful and that’s whatIfound with most of my clients.Ijust want to lose weight, why do you want to lose weight ? Why is that important to you and when you really drill down to it how will that

make you feel ? How would that make you feel ? What do you hope to feel like the accomplishment ? Then they wrap their arms around it’s something,

they can connect to and always anchor to whenever they feel stuck . So that’s the first thing is meaningful goals. The second thing in the middle which is whatIcall the magical middle is mindset it’s the beliefs that we have and that’s where most people struggle they struggle with. Cultural conditioning other people’s expectations are really bad information and they’re trying to process all that. While achieving their goal and soIsupport them in really playing discover and exploring which beliefs really feel

right for them and work for them and unlearning those things that don’t. Then the third thing is accountability sustainability consistency. That’s where most people struggle and that’s where they get stuck. SoIprovide accountability orIsupport them in finding a spark team that will help them with that. So those are three areas where

people really get stuck and where the magic actually happens yeah.

Dr. Wong

So you know at least hypothetically. Anyway Tony I’m binge watching Netflix you know. Eating a bunch of cookies maybe. You know during the holidays or during the

holiday season or winter season or whatever you want to call it. How do you know ? How does the listener know, you know if you’re ready, if they’re ready for health coaching?.

Toni

To me it’s they’re two things I’m looking for. WhenItake on a client, I’m looking for a really a curiosity an openness to doing things differently or new thought

process about doing things differently. Because that tells me that you’re willing to fail up or that’s whatIcall it when you’re willing to indulge in share or

I won’t say failed experiments, but less than successful opportunities for growth. And I’m also looking for people that recognize that this is a process that takes time.

It doesn’t always happen overnight and does require a shift in readiness and mindset. So really just the mindset piece. Are you actually ready to make a change? Are you really to take on a new way of thinking?

Dr. Wong

Would you say and you know the saying of “No Pain No Gain”. Would you say

that there’s possible to be gained without pain or is it gained without failure. You know gain without some sort of hard work and maybe failing up like you said.

Toni

I think all roads to success are built on failures. No failed experiments. Not failures but failed attempts. Michael Jordan said that “you miss all the shots you don’t take” Right? So that’s whatIencourage my clients to do you’ve got to understand what works and what doesn’t work and so that’s it there’s discomfort in that. When you try something and it doesn’t work, but what you have is an awareness and knowing that oh maybeIcan do

something different maybeIcan tweak and that’s where the sustainability comes in. That’s where you get to develop the plan that works for you. Not the plan that works for person A B C and D, but it’s through those failed attempts where the magic actually happens

Dr. Wong

A couple of points there we’ll definitely you know, love MJ’s quote. We’ll forget that he went to University of North Carolina, but great basketball player in terms of the idea of taking responsibility for your own health we know, that’s a big part. You know what we kind of

quote unquote preach here at CIH. What? How do people take charge of their own health. Like if people haven’t been used to that in the past or if society is telling us that we should you know listen to. You know people without taking responsibility what is your message on that ?

Toni

You knowIdon’t tell people not to do somethingIsay. Try it how’s that working for you. Not to quote another person, but you know it’s how’s that working for you everything that’s out there is not bad. It is how does it work in your life. How does it work in

your life? So that’s one way the other thing is society also tells us. That when you’re

trying to do something new or cultural conditioning, it’s all or nothing. You either fail a hundred percent or you win 100 and in between doing all or nothing. There’s a sea of possibilities where you can have a good better best approach and so when I’m speaking to my clients about engaging in something, taking on a new action andIchallenge them. And say well you know how comfortable do you feel like you can do this well, not really so what do you think you can do well.IthinkIcan do that well let’s start there and see how that works for you that takes away the all or nothing you. Start from success success breeds success there’s also this this perfection versus progress fighting, that happens and when you’re trying to be perfect, you can’t focus on progress because perfection is nobody can achieve. So those are two of the mindset question. Mindset issues thatIwork with my Clients with a lot in overcoming. It really starts with playing discover and exploring. Oh that didn’t work let me try something different , but it’s yours

Dr. Wong

Sorry it sounds like not being afraid to fail either. Because that’s part of the discovery process. Is even if someone did fail, they discovered something about themselves

and they might not be in the same place on that mountain after hiking up. That they’re not all the way back the bottom. They might be kind of in the middle there.

Toni

That’s where sustainabilityImean. If you had to define what sustainability is. That is exactly it is. It is stepping over those obstacles instead of tripping on them. You can only do that by the practice and it’s always good to have a coach with you. Who is

there with you. You’ve got this keep going motivation and encouragement as you st ble through this process of a sustainable practice. For me the best outcome is when my clients fire me because thenIknow that they can do this on their own.

Dr. Wong

Nice yeah and how do you overcome these obstacles? You were saying these limiting beliefs in terms of mindset. You know setting meaningful goals that patients or clients would actually want to achieve based on their their

truly what their goals are. Which it sounds like might be deeper than what they might have initially said . Does someone overcome those obstacles?

Toni

You mean negative thinking? We have to define first of all what where their mindset traps. Are so that’s the first thing and you can only define that by saying, “here’s whatIdid and why it didn’t work? What do you think happened? What would you have done differently?” That’s where we get to understand those mindset traps again. It’s going to be different from person to person. For some people it’s going to be sheer overwhelm.Ijust tried to take that first step andIwas overwhelmed because they started to deepen the pool

instead of shallow in the pool. Itried to take a step andIjust couldn’t do anything, because fear overtook me. Because Itried to let’s say lose weight before and every timeIdid something it was a failure. So it’s a way the only way you can overcome a mindset like that. Is to do something different to rewire the brain for success.

Dr. Wong

Now that we’ve kind of outlined some of these big concepts in health coaching

and health transformation. Let’s go to the ground. Let’s get practical with what are some of the the most common types of goals that your clients are trying to achieve? What types of clients do you work with most? And what is a session with you like?

Toni

Yes, most of my clients are trying to achieve what’s two ends of the spectr . They want to feel better so they want to have increased energy. They want to have increased focus they may want to manage their weight. SoIwork with clients with that, butIalso work with clients that are trying to work with their practitioners to. Incorporate protocols to handle chronic conditions like cardio and metabolic syndrome or thyroid issues or digestive issues so it runs the gambit. But what’s in common with all those practices, is that the foundation is mindset and lifestyle practices.

Dr. Wong

Lifestyle is so important and we know that it is really the root cause of a lot of the root cause of wellness . Shifting someone’s lifestyle to kind of match you know their genetics

and their kind of upbringing with the environment. A lot of times there’s that mismatch between you know “genetics and environment” What do you think about lifestyle? How does that incorporate into into medical care and healthcare overall?

Toni

It is the foundation for change. It is the foundation for any shift you want to make in your health. It’s like you can’t go past.Imean you can’t go past that unless you can’t you can’t rely on something exotic. Because what will happen, you’ll always have to go down or default to the lifestyle practices. And I’ve learned from myself I’ve been coaching for 10 years and working with other clients. If you cannot address those lifestyle

practices nothing else will work. You might feel better, but you won’t truly feel wellness. Everything goes back to that. So those lifestyle practices just to remind people in case they don’t know. It’s nutrition, water, sleep, rest movement and activity connection or ties

right. These things are super important and that doesn’t mean you have to tackle them all at the same time and for some people two or three of them might make the shift, but not one of us is going to achieve the goal. The level of health that we want unless we

all embrace the concept of lifestyle practice.

Dr. Wong

Of those and alsoIwould add time in nature as well. For sure what if any one is the most important andIknow that’s a loaded question. Here just kind of make it a little

challenging for youIguess.

Toni

I would say the low-hanging fruit for everybody is nutrition. If they start with nutrition. it opens them up for other things that’s most people. But some people it really is stress management, because they can’t even think about doing anything unless they’re in rest and digest and feeling good. But for most people, the low-hanging fruit is nutrition. Has that been your understanding?

Dr. Wong

Yeah,Ithink it probably varies on each person like you said. Nutrition is one of the big foundations we definitely emphasize. Here definitely, sometimes people are too stressed out to even change their diets or their way of you know nutritional patterns you know but but yeah it’s all it’s all tied in together right and food is not just nutrients like but it’s also emotional support for people. It’s connecting back to their childhood and their upbringing and everything like that.

Toni

So many things we have to push through most people eat for everything other than nourishment right. So it’s a way of understanding that it’s not necessarily have to undo eating for emotionally, but eating emotionally in a way that’s going to nourish your body until you get to the root cause of why so. Some of my clients andIthis is a little experiment thatIhave them do whenever they feel like they need something sweet.Iasked them to go hug a pet or hug their family member and see maybe you just need some sweetness in your life. Just hug on somebody nine times out of ten they don’t need the snack or the sweet because they got filled up in other ways.

Dr. Wong

We’re all trying to live our best lives and you know be of service to others. And you know love each other and everything. So how do people live their best lives ? How do people optimize their wellness ?

Toni

You know for me and also some of the clients that have been really successful. It is really living in alignment with what matters most to you. SoIalways either formally informally introduce my clients to something called the “wheel of life” butIcall it the “wheel of joy” and what areas do they feel like they’re most. They feel most successful or most fulfilled in which areas don’t they feel most successful filled in they can start either with trying to just be more fulfilled or work in the lower end. ButIknow that we don’t know that we don’t work in those areas, where life is meaningful to us. Nothing matters it just doesn’t matter.

Dr. Wong

So cognitively we know that you know we kind of check out and then we end up going falling off the wagon in terms of our health goals. If we’re not really living in alignment with you. Know what our purpose is.Ithink also besides the mind you know we know that the body also kind of falls off. There’s a book that I’m reading right now called the Body Keeps The Score BY Dr. Van der Kolk.Ithink K-O-L-K. But it basically can’t fool the body you know. So if we’re not living in alignment with our values and our truth then the body will often show it. It’ll show that to some you know someone has symptoms etc. so that’s another thing.

Toni

And that’s where you get stuck right. That’s where you have inertia and you can’t move because you don’t have your anchor right. You don’t have your anchor and so when people say okay I’m stuck that’s where we look first to the goals. Are there in alignment with your values? Why does it matter to you? What would happen if you don’t achieve this? What would happen if you do achieve this. Keeping them really connected to that that spiritual piece of themselves. So tony let’s talk about a a client success story. What do they come to you for as a health coach as a transformation coach ? And how did you help them achieve their goal?

Toni

Well they usually come to me thinking that they’re going to get magical information that will help transform their lives and that’s not what they get. What they get is a road map

Dr. Wong

inside, so that they can rely on their own innate wisdom to make changes. So one of my my favorite success stories is a woman who needed to release 50 pounds. She was definitely connected to it,but her belief system told her, “I’ve lost before, I’ve gained before, how’s this going to be “ along the way every time something came up that challenged that .We would work through it so that she could walk over the belief instead of st bling through it she got to make a lot of choices on her own.

So the first one was being curious. When she said what ifItry this, what if you try that and then she’s oh that works for my life being creative.Iwant to make sure that whateverIdo is sustainable and will work with my family unit. Well let’s try that so it was all always about trying things adding things not really taking things out . it was about compassion. She had a lot of compassion for herself. This is all mindset shifting that she never experimented or experienced before.

The last one was consistency she got to experience a good better best approach to her own health. She took control of her own health, she understood that she could rely on her own innate wisdom. As a result not only did she release the way. She’s able to continue to release the weight in a way that’s sustainable for her now. Wants to level

up, but the magic was in her belief system. Not anythingIdid except shining light on what she could do.

Dr. Wong

So that like you said. That the beliefs can be really limiting or they can be really empowering. It sounds like for her, it would change from limiting to empowering so that even after the “program is over” and in a way she can kind of do it on her own now, because she has that built in absolutely and I’m just an accountability partner for her now to. Celebrate her wins and to also be a witness for her ability to walk over her,

challenges instead of st bling or tripping on them. So that’s exciting, that great!

Did you find that for her at least for that client that she kind of knew already some of the nutrition changes or is that something you also went through with her ?

Toni

She had a nutritionist that she was working with, but was struggling with what worked for me.Idon’t know this sounds familiar andIfailed doing this.Idon’t want to be in deprivation. So we took that baseline nutrition information that the nutritionist gave and Iasked, is that what do you want to keep ? what would work for you right now ? if you didn’t you’d have to worry about anything else. What do you want to keep and she said

“I want to keep this” and she kept that and said ohIfeel good.Irelease weight and so she explored other things, so she had a nutrition foundation that she had to work with. Having said that we had we had good better best but we also had a bright line area. Where this is an area you cannot go to or you’ll never achieve your goals. There weren’t many there was like two or three things and then she had a whole sea of opportunity to bring in the nutrition protocol. The way she felt she needed to for herself, she took the slow road, but she released weight one to two pounds a week doing it her way.

Dr. Wong

That’s awesome! That’s great and just have a random question for you. Kind of generated from that if someone feels really stuck like tried everything and you know nothing’s working. Don’t know where to start. Is it better just to try to throw something at the wall and see what sticks you know. Just change for change itself or is it is it better to have some sort of plan and then try to execute that?

Toni

Yeah throwing things up against the wall and seeing what stick causes people to feel like victims, Because they’re gonna go based on what they what they know and what hasn’t worked before and even trying something new will also do the same thing. So always tell my clients start out with small steps take the most ridiculously simple thing that you can. Do that’s impactful to you, that will yield a result that you can just say “ohIdid that”. That makes sense so for some people it might be just releasing. Not eating processed food and eating real food or one meal a week. Seeing how that works for other people they like to go to the deep in the pool. It might be adding a lot of rainbow colors to their meals, but the idea is the person I’m coaching gets to decide what feel ssuccessful for them, not me. Does that make sense they tell me oh yeahIthinkIcan do this.

Dr. Wong

AndIthink there’s the case the joyneses too right. Where it’s kind of like there’s a natural default towards moore’s better andIgotta compete with this other person that’s losing you know 50 pounds in 30 days, which by the way is not healthy to do it. That quickly you know but these type of things you know are out there on the social media and stuff so how do you know people shift that mindset to kind of look at their small wins ? And things that can be positive change for them that are sustainable that’ll kind of set them up for success in the long term.

Toni

That’s a good question. Part of it is one of my favorite things to tell people. Is that comparison steals your joy as soon as you start comparing yourself to others. You’re no longer operating in joy. The other thing is then you’re now you’re extrinsically motivated and you got to bring that motivation back intrinsically. This is what works for me and tie into the feelings like, whenIdo thisIfeel like this whenIdid this. Ifelt like this we celebrate not only the wins but what strategy did you use to feel that way. That’ll start to

squeeze out those outside voices, because now you’re focusing on yourself and your own accomplishments not what somebody else is doing.

Dr. Wong

Great and Toni, What is the role of gratitude, shifting mindset and making positive health changes ?

Toni

Oh my gosh it is everything ? Ithink that if you don’t celebrate where you are what you’ve done, you cannot move forward. You’re always in feeling of lack unworthiness, so part of working with me is we start with gratitude. What are you most grateful for today ? What are you most grateful for ? What made you smile real big? Right yeah, that always gets peopleIdon’t know. think about it and then from there you’re already in a mindset

of just joy. Then you can start to focus on other things from that mindset of joy. ButIthink gratitude is everything you could always be grateful for. What you have and want more, but it still starts from being grateful for where you are nowIthink.

Dr. Wong

Yeah maybe like journaling, the top three or five things you’re grateful for every morning and they could be different things every day. Depending or they can be the same. Have

you recommended that to clients ?

Toni

Some people are resistance. Resistant to writing journaling. SoIjust ask them to whatever their morning ritual is and routine just in the morning just say out loud the top three things you’re most grateful for. If you don’t want to write them down or for me likeIhave an accountability partner thatItalk to every day and that’s what we do. We talk about things we’re most grateful for. So if journaling doesn’t work for you and it doesn’t work for everybody just say something out loud or have an accountability partner that you talk to but it’s important to have a practice of gratitude.

Dr. Wong

Great! Thank you andIhave a question about light and shadow. So the idea is

that you knowIknow you’re a very positive person very sunny person like to use a lot of positive psychology with your clients. What is the role of building someone up, but then be kind of acknowledging those difficulties with setbacks and challenges and trying to transform that.

Toni

YeahIthink it’s importantIsaid the shadow side is information that’s what we look at it’s. Just information it is telling us that something is out of alignment. We want that shadow side we want that pain because otherwise we won’t know that things are out of

alignment. Then we’re existing we’re living by not we’re living by chance instead of choice

because we’re going through the motions. That’s not living mindfully and so the pain is just information. If we could just have that mindset that that’s what it is. It’s not we don’t have to identify with it, we don’t have to cozy up to it. We don’t have to go steady with it we just acknowledge it and then we figure out what we can do from a positive perspective to change that out that imbalance.

Dr. Wong

I love that! Having a choice, knowing knowledge is empowering in that way. Just having that choice knowing you know symptoms or information and pain is information and things like that. So that’s great, thank you well and then just to go back to the sessions like someone’s working with you, how long would you recommend someone works with you or any health coach?

Toni

Yeah so I’m going to start with the beginning. It always starts with a 15-minute discovery session because any coaching relationship you have to trust and rapport and so in that 50-minute discovery session I get to discover whether or not there is trust

and rapport and the other person gets to discover whether or not they feel the same way about me. So it always starts there and if we pass that hurdle and we decide yeah let’s go steady then we have an initial strategy session where we determine, how to commit to success and the mindset of change and then five four to five sessions beyond that to see if you get traction every week. I like weekly sessions because then you get to know in real time almost where your bling blocks or you can make corrections within the

week after that.Then we can go every two weeks and then we go monthly. So the idea

is to get you from preparation to the maintenance phase where you can feel like you can like do this on your own. But the first time you work with me is that discovery session that initial strategy session and four to five follow-up sessions preferably weekly.

Dr. Wong

Great and then when do you decide with the client and how you know how long to work for duration ?

Toni

Usually it’s in the initial strateg Well in the discovery session if I have a good read on them or they have a good read on themselves. Most of them don’t but mostly in that initial strategy session, is when we know like I’ll know based on the confidence of a person. If a client says you knowI I really want to spend more than a week I want to spend two weeks. Really understanding this and incorporating in my life a week seems too short then I give them the two weeks. It really is about themI. I lead and direct and guide, but they have control over their own destiny.

Dr. Wong

Do you believe that everyone needs a health coach ? What’s your thought about that?

Toni

I sure do including myself. Here’s why, because we can always in our busyness, we can get caught up in the busy bandwagon of life. We can get caught up in the infinity pool of distractions and we can easily all of us go off track. I have done that from time to time and so I have a coach that will help me get back on track. So yes, I think everybody needs a coach, but it’s health life to shine a light on. Not only what you do right because many people don’t understand their strengths and how they flourish but also your blind spots. What’s keeping you from achieving, what you need to achieve? Only a coach can really do that for you. Sometimes friends can be coaches but yeah.

Dr. Wong

I was going to ask that so you’re listening, I’m a listener out there, I’m interested in signing up for you Toni, with you Tony. I say you know I can talk with my friends or family once a week I could do face time with them. What’s your thought about that?

Toni

Well, so you have to pick your coach team. Be judicious and about who you

pick. Make sure your spark team actually sparks you. So your your coach team has to be dependable. So if you call them they have to answer the phone right. They have to be wedded to your goals not their understanding of your goals. So if you say I want to take a bath every night they shouldn’t challenge you, why do you want to do? That they should just understand it’s important to you and create some system of accountability, so you want, you know, you want friends that can be objective, not friends that are going to convert you and convince you to do something different.

Dr. Wong

And you know. You having the professional training I think, helps a lot and being objective about it kind of note you know what I really love about health coaching too, especially the way you do it, is that your really very positive with someone, but you also point out very directly, very honestly with them. Right? there’s this idea of kind candor like

you’re trying to be candid with them in a kind way. So that they can really move the needle on their health otherwise they might not see those blind spots.

Toni

I think it’s super important to do that you know. Otherwise there is just like going back to that light and dark you can’t always live in light. like life is going to happen and so when life happens that’s when I say, okay this is where, this is your growth opportunity,

this is where you can live by choice and not by chance and so yeah that’s when I’m firm.

Dr. Wong

And you have recently completed some training? I think or with functional medicine health coaching correct? can you talk about that.

Toni

Yeah, so the functional medicine health coaching is really a very integral part of our practice. now at CIH and it really it dovetails nicely into the mission of CIH. So functional

coaching is very much like functional nutrition we get to the root cause of what’s causing you not to be the best version of yourself and we look for practical lifestyle

changes to support that and I provide guidance and resources and tools to support that. So really it’s mindset and reliable information that’s practical and easy to apply.

Dr. Wong

Great thank you. Sign me up this year . I’m ready for some positive change. Thank you.

Well let’s let’s talk about some questions that we ask everyone. Toni in closing here talking about health coaching, learning about health coaching. For you, for yourself do you have a morning routine and if so do you mind sharing that with us.

Toni

I don’t mind at all, I think rituals are super important, because we all have rituals whether they serve us or they don’t service we all have rituals soIi try to have a morning ritual that serves me and serves my spirit . So the first I have a yoga mat right on the outside of my bed. So that’s usually the first thing. I’m doing is stretching and yoga can be breathing. It could be simply that, if that’s all my body and mind’s in the mood for it. Could be a

full 30 minute practice, that’s important for me to feel grounded, energized, stretched. Really connect my mind body and spirit so they’re just in in alignment and then I do my meditation and set my intention for the day, which is always love, kindness, wisdom forgiveness, and acceptance. So that’s that’s part of my morning routine. You want to know more

Dr. Wong

Yes! well yeah please go on.

Toni

Then I hydrate, I think it’s super important, because we lose a lot of water when we sleep. A lot of people don’t realize that. So I hydrate and I may drink some tea. I don’t get on the computer at all, until I do it as late as I can, but I make sur that the first two hours of the morning are just mine. To do whatever Iwant I may take a walk I may have a conversation with my husband or if he’s not already busy or Ihave a nurturing conversation with a friend of mine because she starts my day remember to that spark team and I get to have the gratitude that I’m looking for what am I grateful for and she gets to show me. She’s my mirror, she gets to see things in me that I don’t always acknowledge or express it myself. She said oh it sounds like you had a great day of expressing kindness so she builds me up to continue to do that. So that’s part of my routine is really building myself up emotionally mentally so I can give to others.

Dr. Wong

Great well there’s a few things I wanted to comment on about that. Number one is do you systematically set up your day for success? So it sounds like you’re putting the yoga mat right by your bed. You’re laying out the water, laying out your clothes and is that a big part of kind of you know health transformation there?

Toni

It is. That’s how when I kind of walked away from my yoga practice. A break getting back into rhythm. I had to put the yoga mat next to that meaning. If you’re going, you have to pass over the yoga mat to go to the bathroom, so the yoga mat is there. You cannot avoid the yoga mat and what I realized is even just standing on the mat. The first time when I tried reintroduced myself to it that standing on the mat felt successful. That’s all Iwanted to do that day I said “I’m just going to stand here and breathe”. That’s yoga and that’s fine.

Dr. Wong

Just start small, just like a seed it’ll grow into this beautiful tree right?

Toni

Yeah and that felt like success to me . But if I said after not having a practice for a month or so, well I’m gonna do a full-on yoga pose and I’m gonna do backflips and all you know then I would have set myself up for success. But that felt very good just breathing, because it took me back to my roots too of what yoga is really is about the breath.

Dr. Wong

That’s great! Then I think the other thing you said there is not really having electronics much in the in the first part of the day . I did that recently on the weekend, I realized you know how much time you can actually open up and create time when you’re off those electronics.

Toni

Absolutely you know two of the things that my clients always come to me when and say you knowIcannot getIwant to do this butIdon’t have enough time and when you ask them how much time do they spend on social media or other people’s priorities there’s anywhere from one hour to six hours of wasted space that they’re dedicating to something that’s not important to them so that’s whyImade a decision to not turn on a computer like the first two hours is mine and even if that first two hours sometimes i’ll just sit and corpse pose those are my that’s my time that’s howIgive to myself so it’s not it’s not evena matter of what you do at that time as long as it’s nurturing it is that you claim it as your own without distraction.

Dr. Wong

I love corpse pose you know it’s also about you know being not just doing all the time right we have to have time to restoreour our systems.

Toni

Yes and there’s always time to ground so I Ii’ve had clients that say well I only have 15 minutes. What can I do? I don’t know let’s think about it. What could you do with 15 minutes so it’s not a matter of me telling them what to do. It’s a matter of what feels right for you right now it is taking that 15 minutes. Here’s another example I have I Ialso like to read so I’m reading this book called “Make Time” and so part of my two hours is 15 minutes a day I’m going to read a chapter or read whatever I want to read for 15 minutes a day and you can complete a whole book in a month if you just create that time. 15 minutes is not a lot of time right, but when we get into the all or nothing it has to be 60 minutes you know that’s when we get lost.

Dr. Wong

I try to do that too and sometimes i’ll just read a paragraph a day like if I don’t have any time in the morning.

Toni

Yes, so it’s the smallest of baby steps baby steps are still steps if. If I leave people with nothing else, it’s just that the baby steps are still steps and they count.

Dr. Wong

Great thank you and so you said you’re reading that book called “Make Time” what have you learned so far about it, that you found it to be enjoyable.

Toni

Well really what I love about this book, is a client actually introduced me to it. She wanted me to coach her through what she learned. So of course I had to get the book to do that and what I found was in order to focus on what matters most every day. There are two things you or three things you have to do. Number one., Identify we talked about where your distractions. Are you’re busy mad wagons or your infinity pools that’s what they talk about in this book the busy bandwagon is how much of your time is other people’s priorities that you can actually control a little bit by just saying no of creating healthy boundaries and the infinity pool is the social media like how much time are you getting caught up in that. The other thing that I coached the client on was every day identify the top three things that you want to get done and if you can’t get that those top three. Then if nothing else gets done that day and it can shift from day to day and you can also kick the can down the road the idea is to always have it in front of you does that make sense.

Dr. Wong

Yeah although, I’m having a hard time shifting at my mindset in the caribbean. One time I was down there with the infinity pools. I was like, hey set me up I want to sit in there all day

Toni

Buddy that’s the kind of definitive.That’s right, that’s one of the top three goals for me infinity pool.

Dr. Wong

Go ahead I’m sorry oh go ahead.

Toni

But I noticed that her overwhelm went down. Because of that because she recognized

she was giving away power giving away control she felt like a victim once she took it back she felt empowered it changed her life yeah.

Dr. Wong

That’s awesome that’s so great and tony what do you do every day to cultivate joy in your own life?

Toni

It’s what Ido and what I don’t do. What I do is I nourish myself every day by talking to a very good friend of mine. It doesn’t matter if it’s two minutes 20 minutes or two hours we cultivate join each other and she gets me to start focusing and thinking about those positive things. The gratitude so that’s the one thing I fill myself up once I filled up, I make sureIdon’t deplete it soIdon’t compare myself to other people to steal my joy soIlook at other things that may be stealing my joy not feeling worthy second guessing myself I justIrefuse to do that and I stay in the nurse mode what did I do rightIgive myself a glow beforeIgive myself a grow.

Dr. Wong

i love that glow before grow and yeah

you know the other thing about speaking of infinity and infinity pools it just came to mind as you were speaking here

as that joy is infinite right it comes you know it’s innate in us and so and so

comparing to others doesn’t really you know help us because

Toni

T hat’s I think we get caught up in not really understanding what our own personal joy is because society will say well joy is this and joy is that and so you put on it’s like putting on a pair of shoes that’s one size too small you squeeze your feet in it, but it doesn’t quite feel right but everybody else is doing. It’s got to be a good thing, so I think being willing to go barefoot for a little while until you find the shoes, that fit perfectly find your joy your bliss it may not look like what your friend is doing.

Dr. Wong

Don’t worry or don’t wear shoes at all you know barefoot you know go earthing is better for you right.

Toni

Exactly, on the tree, bu, yeah I think yeah just do what feels right for you and we lose sight of that because we’re so busy we’re so extrinsically motivated so when I work with clients I’m really taking them back inside so that they’re more intrinsically motivated.

Dr. Wong

Yeah and that might even change what their health goals are right?

Toni

I mean that, it always does. So for example you can take that like a weight loss scenario. Someone says I want to release five pounds, oh okay why is that important to you. Because I have a wedding to go to andIwant to look good for other people that’s extrinsic motivation that’s not gonna keep your head in the game and then you’ll you know maybe you release it maybe you won’t butIhad a kind of set ohIwant to release five pounds oh why is that important to you I find that when I’m when I’m a little lighter that I I’m more active and I like to dance and dancing is important to me it brings me joy.

Dr. Wong

Talking to your friend every morning or every day I rather you know connection is so important and and we see the connection between people like we talked about. Today the community connections between different aspects even individually of our own health physical emotional spiritual etc tony how can listeners learn more about you and work with you.

Toni

Well I am happily connected to the capital integrative health. So I invited everybody to have you here oh thank you i’ve had lately just people go on

the website and see me and see what I’m all about and they have arranged for discovery session so that’s one way just

go to the website or talk to your practitioner if you’re having a problem integrated protocol and you want

help talk to your practitioner about setting up some protocols for you and then have a discovery session so it’s

all about coming to me through various doors but yeah go to cih and set up a discovery session come on

Dr. Wong

Great, yeah Toni is ready. We’re ready 2022 here. We come, we’re gonna hit the ground running here Toni any last words any concluding words for this podcast you want to leave your listeners with about health coaching.

Toni

Yeah, I think I want to end with the way I started about what health coaching is and remind people that that health coaching it’s not just the way I do it it is how it’s designed is to help you bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be but it is a collaboration the health coach is a guide right to that means the health coach is going to allow you to walk into some holes right but you won’t you but there’ll be a light to shine to come back out so just remember it’s a collaboration the health coach is going to guide you but you are going to actually do the work and figure out how to incorporate best in your life and i’ll just look for all the speed b ps and the hazard signs to to guide you through that process.

Dr. Wong

You are the CEO of your own health and tony’s going to help to guide you through that process.

Toni

What you saying yes!

Dr. Wong

Toni thank you so much for being on today. Looking forward to seeing you soon in person hopefully and we’ll talk soon. Thank you all so much for listening everyone.

Toni

Thank you!

Dr. Wong

Thank you for taking the time to listen to us today. If you enjoyed this conversation please take a moment to leave us review. It helps our podcasts to reach more listeners don’t forget to subscribe. So you don’t miss our next episodes and conversations and thank you so much again for being with us.